Why "burning the candle at both ends" hurts you rather than helps you.

Maintain your reserves! Being out of balance on occasion for a specific reason for a limited amount of time is part of life and happens once in a while but if being out of balance is a way of life it is not helping you it is hurting you.

As a business coach and life coach I have seen a pattern in performance that is all too common.  Especially here in the U.S. many people tend to put work first and life second.  People often get rewarded for having no life.  The person who says "Oh my gosh I'm dying.  I haven't slept more than 5 hours in the last month.  I haven't seen my family.  I've just been in the car or in my office."  often hears "that's great! we are giving you a raise!"

While it is important to like what you do and do it well and it is important to earn a good living if you drain yourself to the point of exhaustion you must understand that you will lose any gains you have made.

Take an example from my coaching practice:  I had a client who I told repeatedly "You must slow down, you need to make time for yourself and you need to sleep!"  She happily said "but I'm in such a productive phase i don't want to stop!"  So I waited.....withing 6 weeks she came down with bronchitis and had to stop working completely for two weeks.  All the "productivity" she had gained was lost and in fact the downtime set her back further than when she started.

What is the cure?  A change in mindset.  One thing I tell my clients is: You must understand that YOU ARE AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR MOST IMPORTANT APPOINTMENT! The second b elief I instill in them is TAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF HELPS YOUR BUSINESS!  People often think that if they take time to workout, meditate, make love to their spouse or partner, even go to a movie or walk in the park, that they are taking time away from work and might lose out.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Think about this; you go into a negotiation and here are two scenarios:

1) You worked so hard to prepare that you haven't slept well, have been eating a lot of fast food and take out and have not seen your family in two weeks

2) You worked hard but made a point of stopping no later than 7pm over the last two weeks.  you took time with your family on the weekends (perhaps only half days but you DID make a point of having family time) you have made time to exercise and you have taken the time to eat well or prepare meals and bring your lunch and dinner if you knew there was going to be a long night coming.

The second version of you has spent less TIME preparing but is likely in a far more focused and clear mental/emotional state.  Which version do you think is going to perform better?

A real life example of this is a client of mine --- let's call him "Steve" --- when he came to me he was president of a company he started that was doing quite well.  They were billing around 400k a month and he was making around 300k a year.  He told me "The problem is I am 30 pounds overweight, I am smoking a lot due to stress, drinking more beer than I want to, I maybe see my kids for 30 min before they go to sleep and maybe have 90 min to watch a movie with my wife before we pass out.

So I put him on a plan.  Only check email 3x a day, let you employees know that you have "open door hours" rather than a constant open door policy so they don't interrupt you when you are working on a project.  Make time for a date with your wife once a week no talking about the kids, bills or business just connecting, he went to a hypnotist to stop smoking, we reduced his drinking,  made it a must to workout in some way 3x a week for minimum 30 min and (this was the hardest to get him to agree to) take Monday morning off and Friday afternoon off.

Initially he freaked "I will only be working a 4 day work week!  and even the days I am there I'll be leaving by 6 so those hours will be reduced!  Plus all the working out will cost me even MORE time!  My business will fall apart!"  I have heard this many times in both my business coaching and life coaching roles so I told him not to worry just try it for three weeks and then we could re-evaluate.

Well as you can imagine after three weeks of this he felt GREAT and decided to commit to this schedule for at least three months!  After three months he had stopped smoking and lost 20 of the 30 pounds.  he felt well rested for the first time in years and said his employees liked him better and worked harder for him because he was in a better mood and beaming positive energy.  He also felt that even though he spent less overall time at work when he was there he was far clearer headed, more focused and made much better decisions.

Ok well that is all well and good but did it affect his bottom line?  Did he lose money because of making more time for himself and balancing his life?  Actually quite the opposite.  The billings for his company went from 400k a month to over 1 million!  I was not surprised by this outcome as I have seen it many times but "Steve" was overjoyed.

So the next time you think that "burning the candle at both ends" is helping you and moving you forward i urge you to reconsider.  Let me repeat: Being out of balance on occasion for a specific reason for a limited amount of time is part of life and happens once in a while but if being out of balance is a way of life it is not helping you it is hurting you.

As always if you would like any help or advice with your business or life contact me through my website www.CoachWithMike.com or call the office at 800-890-9245.

Best wishes for your success and happiness
Mike Mataraza